Theatrics Thursday: Bailouts Galore; Bailouts Don't Work; Fukushima- Workers Sent Into Reactor 1; Onagawa Fishy; Japan Kept Secret Radiation Readings To Prevent Panic; Japan Raises Radiation Limits For Children 3300%;UN: Food Prices Soar; Initial Claims A Joke; Much More, Update

Updates

Update 1: White smoke seen from reactor 2 and 3. Of course, this is just healthy smoke. 

Main Article

"All the world's a stage, And all the men and women merely players." - William Shakespeare

The daily news, as it progresses from strange to bizarre to downright chaotic, has got nothing on George Lucas. The news has become so surreal, so stupendous, that indeed as the expression nowadays goes, "you can't make this stuff up." Take for example the circus show called the European (Dis)Union. Everyone, with the now infamous half a radioactive brain knew months in advance that Portugal was the next in line to receive a handout, courtesy of their wealthier brothers. As I highlighted here numerous times, the CDS spreads and bond yields are a tell tale sign of things to come (read: forecast for default). But don't tell that to the professional liars experts. Consider these few examples.


"Greece does not need financial aid." - Angela Merkel, March 10th 2010

"Greece will come through crisis without bailout." - IMF head Dominique Strauss-Kahn, March 8th 2010. 

"Portugal does not need an international bailout." - Portuguese Prime Minister Jose Socrates, December 10th 2010 

"Portugal does not need [financial] help and the markets know this." - PM Jose Socrates, January 12th 2011

"Ireland does not need emergency bailout." -  EU economics and monetary affairs commissioner Olli Rehn, September 29th 2010 

"Ireland does not need a bailout." - Finance Minister Brian Lenihan, November 15th 2010.

Guess who got bailouts? Which begs the question, is "we don't need a bailout" some sort of secret code or do they think that market participants are really that dumb?

Of course, this bailout won't be any easier to swallow than the last two that didn't work. Expect social unrest to explode in 3... 2... Well, at least one person knows that bailouts don't work. Timo Soini, head of Finland’s euro-skeptic True Finns party said today that bailouts “don’t work” and “it’s a question of time before a default will happen” in Greece. The circus clowns at the ECB however, think an alcoholic needs another whiskey bottle to cure his problems. Unfortunately, so does the alcoholic, as he publicly denies he has a problem.

One can deduce from the yield trending and economic data from around the world that Spain is next in line to receive a bailout. Back in March, we gave Spain a few months before we hear the "we don't need a bailout" punchline followed by the subsequent and totally unexpected bailout. Act surprised. You do the, uhh, math.

Speaking of unexpected, jobless claims today were downright horrific, but we're not surprised. Only the expert analysts at Goldman Sachs, JP Morgan, Citi et al were surprised when jobless claims exploded, uhh, unexpectedly. The miss by these experts was so bad in fact, it was the second worst miss in history. That's why they get paid the big bucks. We wonder if they actually based their numbers on Fukushima radiation data this strong economic global recovery here, here, here and here or they simply pull numbers out of a hat. Either way, they deserve a bigger record bonus this year than last year. "Paging Dr. Deficit. Dr. Deficit, can you please come down to the PR (Printing Room) for emergency ink refill. You're needed immediately in the PR." 

See how you can't make this up? Fact is stranger than fiction, and Barnum and Bailey's Ringling Bros have plenty of talent to pick from. 

Would you like some healthy radioactive news? Let's start with the blatant lies, like higher radiation is ok for school children. Of course, this wouldn't have anything to do with the hundreds of schoolyards nearby Fukushima with high levels of radiation? Or anything to do with the facts that if these schools were condemned due to high radiation levels, they wouldn't have any room to put those children, would it? Nah. Why would the gov't lie to us? Which makes you wonder what the heck does this mean? Oh yeah, you forgot about Onagawa...

Whoops! Pay no attention to the dangerous radiation readings man behind the curtain. Everything is just fine.