From The Strange, To The Absurdly Bizarre; All Eyes On Japan, Forgot About Burma; Good News About Plutonium - It's "Healthy!"; Tokyo Electric Exec Goes AWAL; China Rejects Japanese Ship Due to Radiation

Update 2: What's a little radiation going to do? Fly around the earth in plumes now reaching as far as Scotland and France. Needless to say, officials claim the levels are "extremely low," so go ahead, roll around in the grass and pick up some "healthy" radiation. Duh! #glowing, is the new Duh! #winning. 

Update 1: Not that the markets care about fundamentals, but you may want to know the S&P has just downgraded two more PIIGS, Portugal and Greece, and stated there is a very high probability that they will not be able to meet requirements (read: default).

In another round of news that shows just how bizarre this world has become, Lawrence Solomon, writer for the Financial Post, tried (and failed) to make a case that somehow radioactive Plutonium is not only safe, but actually healthy for you! It's a must read if you need a good laugh to start your day off right; one can only wonder how much it costs to buy an "expert" these days to say just about anything. What's next? Taking baths in TEPCO reactor runoff water will decrease wrinkles and add health to your life... Don't laugh. You may see that soon enough.

Now that you know that plutonium is healthy for you, someone needs to ask the Chinese why they rejected a ship that originated in California and docked in Tokyo for a few hours. Surprise, surprise. The answer is - They rejected it because of high levels of radiation. Hu Who would have thought the Chinese were so particular about healthy plutonium poisoning?

Of course, with plutonium now being discovered in soil samples around the plant and Dr. Michio Kaku confirming that there was a "breach," there's little wonder then why the president of TEPCO has gone AWAL. There are rumors he fled the country or committed suicide. TEPCO officials claim he is "sick" from all the work - of being a Japanese CEO. One could argue, the tsunami got him either way.

Since the only news that matters now are global current events, I present to you one last "bullish" news item from the little country of Burma as all the focus from the media remains on Japan. Not only did Burma experience a powerful 6.8 magnitude earthquake a few days ago, the week before they experienced a major tropical storm of epic proportions in which 3700 Burmese fishermen are still missing. Definitely should be worth an extra 200 points on the DOW today.

Check back often for more updates.